Intuitive Archive is a weekly newsletter, containing poems, dreams, essays, and musings. I write at the intersection of embodied experience and all that is unseen.
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In this letter: an eclipse season dream-event, and some research into the folk practices of my Latvian matrilineal ancestry. ☾
This late-October, I find myself again between two eclipses. Both are ruled by Venus, who is also the planet that rules my birth chart. This upcoming weekend’s eclipse, in Taurus, is directly conjunct my moon. I write in my journal: I want to be elegant. I want to have a place to put everything. I don’t want to want so much, but I do.
I go running for the first time in years this Monday after talking on the phone with Paige. It’s not a fully conscious choice but I find myself doing it, putting on the requisite clothes and beginning to run. I don’t make it that far but I feel fully-expressed and jubilant, after. When I come back I am sweaty and bouncy, the extra energy lasting through the next day.
I wake up on Tuesday with my legs sore but I’m pretty sure it’s from the dream I had, not the run. Do you ever have a dream where you wake up and you feel like you ran a marathon? It happens to me sometimes and I wake up with shame. I want to move past the dream, pretend it didn’t happen. In it, I am someone much younger. In much more pain. I am scrunched, and closed, and bitter to the world.
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